Send Him An Alternative To You
Send him something that will match his next girlfriend — dry, cold, and handled by some random guys.
OK, so you’re done with him but he might be lonely right? Send him something else to fuck — it’s cold, it’s dry, and it’s exactly what he deserves. It’ll be shipped unpackaged, handled, and written on with Sharpie so it will be completely unusable. In other words, it has all the makings of the worst gift ever.